I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
