Swine flu. Run for my life!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize