he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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