Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
