Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize