he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
