i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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