dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize