you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
