and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
