Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize