no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
