her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
