so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
