Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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