I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize