Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You made out with two different species that night
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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