We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
