ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize