She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
