I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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