We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
