i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You have to summon your inner elephant
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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