BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
