He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
well most of my day revolves around power hour
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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