i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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