I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
