I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
