Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
