Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
