those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
