She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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