im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
