Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
