I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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