FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
