I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize