East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
