I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
