is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
