the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
