Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
