Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
