she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
