Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
tell me about the eggs
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
