I wish I could punch you in the face.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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