It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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