How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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