can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
