Kiss
Puke
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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