My friends, they love my intelligence
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
whose parrot is this?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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