sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
