Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
