Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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