I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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