So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
