I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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