roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
only you would photoshop your dick
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's blow job season.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
